Wrong Turns and Whales

As children, we all learned the story of Jonah and the Whale. We heard about how God told Jonah to go to Nineveh.

But Jonah rose to flee to Tarshish from the presence of the LORD.

Jonah 1:3

He immediately boarded a boat and headed to Tarshish. He believed that if he went the opposite way, put enough distance, or pretended that he couldn’t hear God, that God would forget about Jonah. Maybe God would not notice that Jonah was doing the opposite; hopefully God would choose to send someone else.

Running Jonah-Style

I can kind of understand that desire. To run. To ignore. To turn the other way and hope someone else is sent instead. Because for the last several years, I did just that. Now, the excuses for my disobedience were easier to swallow. I could feel God calling me toward a path on which I wasn’t ready or willing to walk, so I convinced myself it wasn’t really God who was calling. I told myself that the still, small voice was my own human ambition or desires to have a career as a writer. When that didn’t work, I excused myself by saying I was too busy in my vocation as a wife and mother.

Besides, I wanted to write books, not blogs. Yet time and again, as I walked toward the career I wanted, I kept tripping on obstacles. Each time, I found myself stumbling on something designed and placed to get my attention, redirect me, and turn me around. Now, in the end, God had to upend our family’s entire life to get me on board the right ship. Fortunately, I didn’t get swallowed by a whale. Praise Jesus, God was slightly more gentle with me. But the message was clear. Go to Nineveh…

I did not want to do this. Not at first, and not for a long time. Part of me is still hesitant and afraid. I’m still human. I carry the same insecurities that we all have. Will they like what I write? Will I speak the right words? Will I be attacked or encouraged? Is this too much for me? Too much time away from my vocation as wife and mom? Will they recognize me as Catholic, or cry Protestant?

Trusting Jonah-Style

I’m sure that Jonah had scary questions, too. And I know Jonah didn’t have any guarantees. He was asked to go somewhere he didn’t want to, where his message would be received with fear and possibly violence. He had to step out and trust in a situation where everything might go horribly wrong for him. But I have something that Jonah didn’t have.

I have Jonah.

I have Moses. I have Isaiah. I have Peter, and Paul, and Mary. I have the beauty of the Catholic tradition and the glorious living Word filled with the promises of the Lord. As I walked in the opposite direction, Jesus stepped into my path. But it wasn’t with whales and worry that he changed my heart. He encouraged me gently with love, grace, and promise. He promised that I could trust Him because He is ever faithful even when I am not. Especially when I am not.

Joy in the Unknown

This is a new path for me. Like Jonah, I feel like I’m stepping out onto unknown shores. Like Jonah, I’ve faced not only a change in my calling, but a physical relocation of my entire life. I’m not going to say I’m not scared, intimidated, or worried. But there is hope for me here that I didn’t expect. I can feel the promises in my heart. I know that even if it’s hard to do, even if this won’t be an easy path, there is joy in that hardship. And like Jonah, I know that I have so much to learn from the months and years ahead as I walk this unknown road.

I don’t know where this is all going to lead. I can’t see the destination or the outcomes. But I’m so hopeful, and Jesus has given me a passion and the excitement to embark on this new journey. It is unexpected and reassuring. I can feel it grow every day with every word I type and each prayer I whisper. It’s time to sing a new song, a song of joy.

A New Journey Together

I really need you here with me. I need your encouragement and community. This is a new start for me, something I hope to grow into an outlet to share my writing and thoughts. But I also want it to be a place of refuge for you. A place to recharge and recenter on Jesus. To find like-minded Catholic women who encourage you. I want to help make a place to foster community in a time when we really need it.

If you have a minute, reach out and connect with me. Send me a comment or your thoughts. Let me know what kind of content most interests you. Where do you struggle and where do you need encouragement? What are your questions about the faith? Do you wonder about the experience of your fellow Catholics in an area of faith? Are you seeking to find where God is calling you, where your own walk with Jonah might lead?

Where This Leads

I don’t for one moment believe I can answer everything. I will make mistakes, and I will need loving correction. My Protestant upbringing gave me a solid scriptural standing. Now, as a Catholic, my childhood biblical education has blessed me with a deeply enriched experience of the liturgy, the Eucharist, and Catholic tradition. I’m excited to combine these two rich blessings in my life and see what fruit comes. And yet, always it seems that the more I learn, the less I know.

But the Holy Spirit knows. He is the great Internal Teacher, the one we all carry within our hearts since our baptism. It is in community with one another, with the Holy Spirit, and with His Holy Church, that maybe we can find some of the answers to our questions and invite God to deepen our faith together.

Thank you for being here with me. Thank you for giving me some of your precious time. Thank you for handling this offering of my hands and heart with care.