Thursday of the Fourth Week of Easter
Lectionary: 282

Reading 1

Acts 13:13-25

From Paphos, Paul and his companions
set sail and arrived at Perga in Pamphylia.
But John left them and returned to Jerusalem.
They continued on from Perga and reached Antioch in Pisidia.
On the sabbath they entered into the synagogue and took their seats.
After the reading of the law and the prophets,
the synagogue officials sent word to them,
“My brothers, if one of you has a word of exhortation
for the people, please speak.”

So Paul got up, motioned with his hand, and said,
“Fellow children of Israel and you others who are God-fearing, listen.
The God of this people Israel chose our ancestors
and exalted the people during their sojourn in the land of Egypt.
With uplifted arm he led them out,
and for about forty years he put up with them in the desert.
When he had destroyed seven nations in the land of Canaan,
he gave them their land as an inheritance
at the end of about four hundred and fifty years.
After these things he provided judges up to Samuel the prophet.
Then they asked for a king.
God gave them Saul, son of Kish,
a man from the tribe of Benjamin, for forty years.
Then he removed him and raised up David as their king;
of him he testified,
I have found David, son of Jesse, a man after my own heart;
he will carry out my every wish.
From this man’s descendants God, according to his promise,
has brought to Israel a savior, Jesus.
John heralded his coming by proclaiming a baptism of repentance
to all the people of Israel;
and as John was completing his course, he would say,
‘What do you suppose that I am? I am not he.
Behold, one is coming after me;
I am not worthy to unfasten the sandals of his feet.’“

Responsorial Psalm

Psalm 89:2-3, 21-22, 25 & 27

R.    (2)  For ever I will sing the goodness of the Lord.
or:
R.    Alleluia.
The favors of the LORD I will sing forever;
through all generations my mouth shall proclaim your faithfulness.
For you have said, “My kindness is established forever”;
in heaven you have confirmed your faithfulness.
R.    For ever I will sing the goodness of the Lord.
or:
R.    Alleluia.
“I have found David, my servant;
with my holy oil I have anointed him,
That my hand may be always with him,
and that my arm may make him strong.”
R.    For ever I will sing the goodness of the Lord.
or:
R.    Alleluia.
“My faithfulness and my mercy shall be with him,
and through my name shall his horn be exalted.
He shall say of me, ‘You are my father,
my God, the Rock, my savior.’”
R.    For ever I will sing the goodness of the Lord.
or:
R.    Alleluia.

Alleluia

Revelation 1:5ab

R. Alleluia, alleluia.
Jesus Christ, you are the faithful witness,
the firstborn of the dead,
you have loved us and freed us from our sins by your Blood.
R. Alleluia, alleluia.

Gospel

John 13:16-20

When Jesus had washed the disciples’ feet, he said to them:
“Amen, amen, I say to you, no slave is greater than his master
nor any messenger greater than the one who sent him.
If you understand this, blessed are you if you do it.
I am not speaking of all of you.
I know those whom I have chosen.
But so that the Scripture might be fulfilled,
The one who ate my food has raised his heel against me.
From now on I am telling you before it happens,
so that when it happens you may believe that I AM.
Amen, amen, I say to you, whoever receives the one I send
receives me, and whoever receives me receives the one who sent me.”

Lectionary for Mass for Use in the Dioceses of the United States, second typical edition, Copyright © 2001, 1998, 1997, 1986, 1970 Confraternity of Christian Doctrine; Psalm refrain © 1968, 1981, 1997, International Committee on English in the Liturgy, Inc. All rights reserved. Neither this work nor any part of it may be reproduced, distributed, performed or displayed in any medium, including electronic or digital, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

His Goodness is Sufficient for Today

Yesterday was not a great day for me. It was really rough. I reached a breaking point with all of this stay at home business, with my kids, and with myself.

Being a stay at home mom is hard on any day, but being a trapped at home mom has been harder. This morning, as I read the daily reading, and try to dig in my bag of scripture study for something to offer, I am coming up short.

Today I am Waiting

As I read today, all I could see and hear was one phrase.

 For ever I will sing the goodness of the Lord.

Psalm 89:2

And for today, that is all that I need. It is all that I can handle. I am struggling with something. It is overwhelming at times, and some days I don’t even know how to put it down. Its anger. Its deadly. Destructive and divisive. And I don’t know how to let it go.

My mom friends have told me they all struggle with anger at their kids at some point or presently. I feel consumed by it lately. I am frustrated by everything that my children do. I have tried every manner and method I can find, think of, or research and I can’t solve this. I have prayed, begged, cried, read scripture, and worshipped until my throat was sore, but still it remains. I am at the end of myself and I wait now on God.

Really, I can’t change my own sin. None of us can. We can’t remove it, cleanse the stain, or forgive the damage of our own sin or that of another. Not without Jesus. The Israelites lived a life of constant sacrifice trying to be made right before God. And nothing could truly span that chasm between humanity and God until Jesus came and made a bridge on the shoulders of the cross.

Waiting on His Forgiveness

So I come to you today, having asked the Lord for forgiveness for my anger. I am asking your forgiveness for my anger. I am asking for prayer. I am saying in humility that I don’t have all of this figured out, and I am not greater than the one who sends me. I am broken and sinful like any other mom, wife, friend, sister, daughter, writer. But I desperately want to be better for God, my family, my kids, and the people around me.

Yesterday, I was caught up with asking when? When will you change this God, when will you make me well, make me a better mother, make me patient? I have Jesus! I should be made better by His forgiveness, changing love, and grace. When will I be made into the mother I want to be instead of this broken and impatient one?

Waiting on His Goodness

But today, I read the words above, and I remember that His goodness is enough. My best friend said this to me:

You don’t need to know when He is coming back to know He is coming. You don’t need to know how everything will be alright if your husband loses his job, you just know it will.

Best friend of awesomeness

So why do I need to know when He will heal me of my anger to know that He will? I don’t. I just need to know that He is good.

This morning, I am praying this below prayer. If you aren’t Catholic, or aren’t familiar with it, it is the Act of Contrition. I can’t go to confession today. So I am praying this, wholeheartedly and humbly. If you need confession today, and like me, can’t go, you can pray this and resolve to go as soon as you are able.

Act of Contrition

My God,

I am sorry for my sins with all my heart. In choosing to do wrong and failing to do good, I have sinned against you whom I should love above all things. I firmly intend, with your help, to do penance, to sin no more, and to avoid whatever leads me to sin. Our Savior Jesus Christ suffered and died for us.

In his name, my God, have mercy.